July 2011
June 2011
Ode to 6 pack
Dear friend and current lover,
I can’t put this off any longer…
It’s time we say our goodbyes.
I’ll never forget the fun we’ve had together,
I’m grateful for that as well as your warmth and comfort.
And i’ll cherish how easily you went down,
Then lingered.
You were never one to come back up.
This is hard, but to be honest…
You’re just not enough for me anymore,
And you always run out so quickly.
I think it’s time I tell you,
I’m pursing 12 pack.
Your estranged lover,
Morgan
If you can stimulate my mind with your conversation. You have an open invitation to stimulate everything else on my body.
Play
Play
The 30 Harshest Author-on-Author Insults In History →
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30. Gustave Flaubert on George Sand
“A great cow full of ink.”29. Robert Louis Stevenson on Walt Whitman
“…like a large shaggy dog just unchained scouring the beaches of the world and baying at the moon.”28. Friedrich Nietzsche on Dante Alighieri
“A hyena that wrote poetry on tombs.”27. Harold Bloom on J.K. Rowling (2000)
“How to read ‘Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone’? Why, very quickly, to begin with, and perhaps also to make an end. Why read it? Presumably, if you cannot be persuaded to read anything better, Rowling will have to do.”26. Vladimir Nabokov on Fyodor Dostoevsky
“Dostoevky’s lack of taste, his monotonous dealings with persons suffering with pre-Freudian complexes, the way he has of wallowing in the tragic misadventures of human dignity — all this is difficult to admire.”
25. Gertrude Stein on Ezra Pound
“A village explainer. Excellent if you were a village, but if you were not, not.”24. Virginia Woolf on Aldous Huxley
“All raw, uncooked, protesting.”23. H. G. Wells on George Bernard Shaw
“An idiot child screaming in a hospital.”22. Joseph Conrad on D.H. Lawrence
“Filth. Nothing but obscenities.”21. Lord Byron on John Keats (1820)
“Here are Johnny Keats’ piss-a-bed poetry, and three novels by God knows whom… No more Keats, I entreat: flay him alive; if some of you don’t I must skin him myself: there is no bearing the drivelling idiotism of the Mankin.”
20. Vladimir Nabokov on Joseph Conrad
“I cannot abide Conrad’s souvenir shop style and bottled ships and shell necklaces of romanticist cliches.”19. Dylan Thomas on Rudyard Kipling
“Mr Kipling … stands for everything in this cankered world which I would wish were otherwise.”18. Ralph Waldo Emerson on Jane Austen
“Miss Austen’s novels … seem to me vulgar in tone, sterile in artistic invention, imprisoned in the wretched conventions of English society, without genius, wit, or knowledge of the world. Never was life so pinched and narrow. The one problem in the mind of the writer … is marriageableness.”17. Martin Amis on Miguel Cervantes
“Reading Don Quixote can be compared to an indefinite visit from your most impossible senior relative, with all his pranks, dirty habits, unstoppable reminiscences, and terrible cronies. When the experience is over, and the old boy checks out at last (on page 846 — the prose wedged tight, with no breaks for dialogue), you will shed tears all right; not tears of relief or regret but tears of pride. You made it, despite all that ‘Don Quixote’ could do.”
16. Charles Baudelaire on Voltaire (1864)
“I grow bored in France — and the main reason is that everybody here resembles Voltaire…the king of nincompoops, the prince of the superficial, the anti-artist, the spokesman of janitresses, the Father Gigone of the editors of Siecle.”
15. William Faulkner on Ernest Hemingway
“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”14. Ernest Hemingway on William Faulkner
“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”13. Gore Vidal on Truman Capote
“He’s a full-fledged housewife from Kansas with all the prejudices.”12. Oscar Wilde on Alexander Pope
“There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.”
11. Vladimir Nabokov on Ernest Hemingway (1972)
“As to Hemingway, I read him for the first time in the early ‘forties, something about bells, balls and bulls, and loathed it.”
10. Henry James on Edgar Allan Poe (1876)
“An enthusiasm for Poe is the mark of a decidedly primitive stage of reflection.”9. Truman Capote on Jack Kerouac
“That’s not writing, that’s typing.”8. Elizabeth Bishop on J.D. Salinger
“I HATED [Catcher in the Rye]. It took me days to go through it, gingerly, a page at a time, and blushing with embarrassment for him every ridiculous sentence of the way. How can they let him do it?”7. D.H. Lawrence on Herman Melville (1923)
“Nobody can be more clownish, more clumsy and sententiously in bad taste, than Herman Melville, even in a great book like ‘Moby Dick’….One wearies of the grand serieux. There’s something false about it. And that’s Melville. Oh dear, when the solemn ass brays! brays! brays!”
6. W. H. Auden on Robert Browning
“I don’t think Robert Browning was very good in bed. His wife probably didn’t care for him very much. He snored and had fantasies about twelve-year-old girls.”5. Evelyn Waugh on Marcel Proust (1948)
“I am reading Proust for the first time. Very poor stuff. I think he was mentally defective.”4. Mark Twain on Jane Austen (1898)
“I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can’t conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read ‘Pride and Prejudice,’ I want to dig her up and hit her over the skull with her own shin-bone.”3. Virginia Woolf on James Joyce
“[Ulysses is] the work of a queasy undergraduate scratching his pimples.”2. William Faulkner on Mark Twain (1922)
“A hack writer who would not have been considered fourth rate in Europe, who tricked out a few of the old proven sure fire literary skeletons with sufficient local color to intrigue the superficial and the lazy.”1. D.H. Lawrence on James Joyce (1928)
“My God, what a clumsy olla putrida James Joyce is! Nothing but old fags and cabbage stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest stewed in the juice of deliberate, journalistic dirty-mindedness.”
“You will forgive me, I hope you don’t mind me saying, I just wanted to add, if you’ve got time and I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, because you should know, before we go any further, we should put everything on the table because the reality is and the truth is and the fact of the matter is, I shouldn’t interrupt but I was wondering and if you know, please tell me, how we manage to say so much, without saying anything at all.”
—I Wrote This For You: The Wasted Words (via kari-shma)
“There was nowhere to go but everywhere.”
—Jack Kerouac
I decided to take it personally...
So it’s not ok to be ok with being fat or overweight, because it sets the wrong example? Because by being fat or overweight it automatically means you’re unhealthy or lazy? Excuse the Fuck out of me but for one goddamn time id like to see the over idolized skinny celebrities be berated for being unhealthy or lazy. Im talking about the ones who rather not eat to stay a size 0 or have surgery then actually exercise. Is that healthy? No but it’s fucking hot broooo, right? Let’s get personal, I eat healthy 90% of the time, I ride my bike miles and miles every week, and I run but guess what… I am not skinny, I never have been and I probably never will be. I have thick thighs, big arms, big breasts and a round ass, I have dimples when I smile and love handles. So I am self consious and I can be self loathing. I know I’m beautiful though so why do I hate my appearance sometimes? Because I never had a role model who was bigger, no one has ever said it’s ok to be chubby, to have thick thighs a round ass and dimples when you smile. Because my looks don’t fit in. I look different, and i’ve been brain washed to believe that it’s not ok. Because the only people who ever tried to say big is beautiful were ridiculed for not being healthy enough and more often than not ended up with an eating disorder. Loving yourself when everyone says it’s wrong is HARD. I don’t spend hours in the gym pumping iron but that doesn’t mean all skinny people do. Sure id probably get better results if I slaved away at vanity. I don’t, and I’m ok with that, I’m ok with being who I am, and having the body I do and im healthy enough. It’s ok to be whoever you are or want to be.
This is a rant, because I’m tired of the unrealistic standards people try to enforce.
